Monday, March 14, 2011
Do I Have Children?
Up until now I was never bothered by someone asking me the question if I had any children but now when I am asked this question I don't know quite how to answer. I could say, "Yes I do have a child but she is not living". Or the much easier answer is to say "No" and move on with it. I have chosen the latter. The main reason is because I have had random acquaintances ask me this question and just don't feel like getting into my story with someone I really don't know that well. But getting back to my point, it hurts when I am asked if I have children. I was so ready to be a Mommy, had planned to stay home and raise our daughter till she was the age of being able to go to pre-school or school. I have been preparing for this part of my so wanted life for the past several years and now it is all gone. So instead I am job searching and went to a "trial" job session this morning. I will hear back by the end of this week but I guess the real question for myself is if I am ready for a full-time job at this point. I guess I will know when I get the call and try to decide then and discuss with my hubs. Moving on in life and trying to grieve for Leia. It all hurts so much. I wish someone could take the pain away. Love and missing you dear Leia Grace.