Bad Times

Well another Tuesday is upon us and I am watching the clock. Ten weeks ago at this time (8:45pm) our beautiful Leia Grace was delivered still. I miss her so much. Sometimes I wish that it has all been a bad dream and that I will wake up and find that everything is fine with Leia. I so want to go back to the beginning of January. I'd like a redo. Is that possible? I don't understand why after all we have been through to get pregnant that this happened to us. Why us? I keep thinking about all the doctor appointments and why I didn't question more but then I know I did. I was always prepared at every appointment with a list. I'm trying to move on but it is so HARD.