We Remember Them

Yesterday the hospital where Leia Grace was born held their annual service of remembrance for parents who've lost their baby or a child. It was held in the afternoon and we had a beautiful sunny day to attend the event. I was apprehensive about going back to the hospital where we had Leia. I have not been back their since the end of February when we met with a fetal maternal specialist. I always get a little apprehensive about going back to the hospital. Going to the parking deck area and walking over the pedestrian walkway. Where I went so many times for check-ups with our doctor, baby classes, tours and ultrasounds. It always gets me missing the days of pregnancy and when Leia was with me. During the service they read aloud the names of everyone in attendance. It was so nice to hear Leia's name be read and then they also gave everyone the chance to speak if they so wanted. I couldn't find the courage or strength to do this but one person did. I was too overcome with emotion and thoughts to get myself together and do that. I don't regret it but somehow I just couldn't or didn't want to share at that moment. Then everyone had the chance to write a note or comment on a leaf that was then placed on a tree that had been painted and would be hung in the hospital a later day. After that part they announced that they wanted everyone to go down to the butterfly garden that is located on the first floor of the hospital. When we went walked into the garden a group of parents who have also lost children were playing handbells for us. This was really nice and we listened to several songs and everyone was blowing bubbles in the garden. There was a short receptions after this that we went to for a few minutes. There were several woman in attendance that were expecting and another couple that had lost a set of twins. I really wanted to talk with this couple but didn't see them at the reception part. I am glad that we attended the event. We ended the afternoon by coming home and placing Leia's ashes in the urn that we had bought. The urn is now in her room and I plan to keep it there for now. It was in some way a day of closure doing this and while we were both sad and shed many tears for Leia it makes me feel better to know that a small part of her is still with us and in it's proper place now. Just seeing the other parents and families and to feel their loss and see it does put perspective on our situation and makes us realize that we are not alone and that there are many others out there dealing with a loss that is similar or close to ours. Losing a child before you is not a normal event in a person's life and it seems so wrong and an unfamiliar path that we are walking each day. I have posted some pictures that I took to share. I hope if anyone out in BLM blog world has the opportunity to attend an event like this will go, as I think it will really help.


Dear Leia, We have your ashes in their final place now and in your room. I feel your presence every single day. I feel as if you are walking with me each day. I hope you know how much you were wanted and loved by us. Love you, Mommy & Daddy

Tree of life painting with leaves from families

                                    Leia's name printed in the event papers

Butterfly Garden

                                               Top of Leia's Urn

                                             Side view of Leia's Urn

                                  Book given out at the end of the event