31 Days of Paying It Forward

The last day of 2012, WOW! It some ways it has been a great year for my family, our son came into the world and changed our lives forever. To that I am so grateful for the positive outcome and having LB in our lives. With his arrival brought on some depression that I think I had been battling since losing our first born, Leia. The depression was not good and was affecting my everyday life. I am on meds now that make me stable and able to go on with my life. So for that and all that I battled with it, I am glad to see 2012 go. I don't want to think about the attempt I made taking my life or the two times I was hospitalized. I was away from LB and that hurt but I know that each time I had to be there to help myself. The second visit finally put my on the right track and made it possible for me to cope again. I also joined a group that helped me to understand that what I was going through was not my imagination and that I did have a problem that other women also go through. Suffering from post-partum depression (PPD) that most women don't talk about. I thank all the staff and nurses who helped me on each visit to the hospital. The nurses especially who are amazing women and what they do in helping women with PPD is awesome. I thank all my friends and family. The friends who brought meals, who came over and sat with me when I was probably thinking about something else. The family who visited when LB was born and supported me. My wonderful husband who stood by me and has made our bond much stronger. We look forward to 2013 and celebrating five years of marriage, though I think the last two years have been the toughest on us both. Anyone who helped me/us during 2012, if I haven't acknowledge it to you in person, I do it now. THANK YOU for helping me during a tough time in my life.

So to that I want to do some good in the new year of 2013. I am having 31 days of paying it forward or doing a good deed. I want to spread being nice and doing something just because or for no reason. I am going to try and post each day what I have done though don't hold me to it because remember I do have a baby who is 7 months old and does require a great deal of my time and attention.

To kick it off I started the last day of this year with giving. A friend who happens to be expecting and is due on 1/11/13 (how ironic, right?). Well I surprised her today with two bags of baby items and a box of newborn diapers. Some of the items were left over from when we were expecting Leia and some items were from Landon that could go either way for a baby. I know she appreciates and needed these items. It felt good to give to someone who I know won't say what she needs but that she appreciates what I have done.

Happy New Year and Happy 2013! What is your resolution for the new year? Feel free to give me a comment and you just might get something for that!

Hugs to all!!!

Christmas is Over...Yes!

Hi all. I've been slacking here and not keeping up with everyone. I am sorry. I really have tried to be the person who does it all and kept up, but some things slip.

So the Christmas holiday is over and just need to get on to NYE and New Year's Day. I was thinking today about 1/11/13. I can't believe it has been almost two years. I get sad thinking about it but also trying to do some good to remember Leia this year.

As mentioned earlier in recent posts we had family coming in for Christmas. It was the second time that my hubs mother has seen LB and first time for his Dad. It really made the holiday much more special celebrating with a little one. He had no idea what it was all about but he laughed and made us all happy. We took him to see Santa, we had him open some presents and toted him everywhere. Several meals out but he was always entertaining or amusing us all in one way or another. Love that boy and so happy he is here with us to make us all happy and feel like we have a life again.

My mother-in-law is lovely and spoils LB very much. She can be forward and has no filter. I attempted to give my sister-in-law some clothes that I know I would not be wearing and she told me if I would lose the weight that maybe I could wear them one day. Ugh. Like I really needed to hear that, right? Oh well. I didn't go into any details, but really? So I proceeded to order a calorie high meal just to spite her. I thought, well the New Year is coming but I might as well enjoy a burger and shake since we are out. Sure, I could stand to lose 20 pounds and I know this but I don't need to be reminded of it.

And while we are on the subject, she has some good intentions but telling me that LB needs a bath every day and that I need to reduce the formula intake when he eats solids. Yes, I know this but thanks for letting me know. I also heard about how my hubs was never as big as LB is and she hopes he can lose his weight when he starts walking. Let the baby enjoy life and don't worry about his weight!

All in all it was a good christmas holiday and hopefully we have many more to come in the years ahead.

One Last Post About This!

One last post about this....we have frozen embroyos at our fertility clinic that we are looking to donate to a family. If you know of someone looking for or wants to grow their family, please put them in touch with me as soon as possible. If we don't do something soon our fertility clinic is gonna be on my case. The embroyos could be sent to another clinic anywhere we request or in the United States. They have been in storage since May 2010. Thanks! They can reach me at msischo18 at yahoo.

Thanks,

Shell

Ho Ho Ho

Well we are in full swing of holiday season. Landon gets to see Santa this week and then my hubs parents fly in this Saturday which means a trip to the airport and probably lunch or dinner out with them.

So had another dispute/argument with family. I just don't get where this person gets their ideas or some of the things said. I have decided it is best if I keep this person out of my life for the time being. It hurts and especially with the holidays approaching it really breaks my heart to know that we are not talking. Life goes on and while I can forgive I am not sure I can forget the things said in recent weeks and months.

LB has been waking during the night for the past week so we decided to give him some cereal last night before his last bottle for bed. This worked great and he slept all the way through the night and almost nine hours. So we just got out his high chair that has been in a box on our third floor. It really was Leia's but of course will be used for LB. We had never got it out of the box when we were expecting Leia. I have diligently checked to make sure it has not been recalled or that anything is wrong with it since it is over two years old.

I am just about done with decorating, shopping is done. Just one or two more boxes need to be mailed out. I hope to get that done tomorrow. Some light baking and meal planning for Christmas Eve and we should be set.

Here are some pictures of what we have decorated so far. A happy holiday to you all and wishing that your time with your families is joyous and peaceful.

1 Year and 11 Months

One year and eleven months....the time is passing more quickly and even though our lives have changed dramatically, we never forget you, Leia Grace. Love you, Mommy

Recycling Day and Giveaway

So Tuesdays is garbage day here in our community. I hauled out every last piece of cardboard and recycling this morning. The garbage people are gonna love us today...NOT! So in honor of recycling I am giving away this item that I bought probably over 10 years ago and have never used. I have also put with it a cookie cutter honoring the holiday we are all about to celebrate (well most of us, not all, I respect whatever you celebrate!).

So for the giveaway...tell me the time you think our garbage is picked up. Even though I put it out already they won't get here till sometime this afternoon. The person with closest time gets the prize! Good luck and feel free to share my post, start following me and put this to your Facebook page.

I Think I Have Found Some of My Family!

This is a crazy post and a crazy story. Many of you know of my wish to meet or find my birth mother and family. This day has come and it was today! I am still in disbelief and trying to digest all that has happened. So here goes with "MY" story.

So most of you know that back in October I got a letter from the state of NY giving me all "non identifying" information on my birth mother. The letter gave me lots of information but no name. To top it off I have a friend from high school who works in the building where the letter came from. I recently made contact with her after not talking for over 20 years. She told me that she didn't even know where the files would be. I understood and in no way wanted to put her in a position where she'd lose her job. Several weeks later I realized that a family friend's husband was from the town that they thought I had come from. I called her up and she told me that her sister-in-law likes to help others trying to find family. So she was given information and had been doing some digging and questioning. She'd keep sending me information via Facebook and names that I should contact. So on a whim last night I decided to start doing some digging myself. So I "friended" a woman thought to possibly be my birth mother. The funny thing is that there were two profiles, so I friended both. I figured what did I have to lose? So she friended me and I began looking at her friends and family that she had posted. I friended people I thought that may be related to her. They friended me back and so it began. I then got a message back from one of her granddaughters. She explained that my now current last name was also in their family and she wanted to know how we were related. She apologized for being so forward but she wanted to know. I then responded back and told her I would be forward with her and that I was searching for my birth mother and her family. She then responded back that she would call me. Okay. And she did. We talked briefly and she told me that she would talk with her mother. She called me back and her mother confirmed that she wouldn't be surprised if her mother had me because there had been some things about her mother that she did not know. I told this woman that I in no way wanted to cause any problems nor wanted anything from their family, that I just wanted to know. She told me that she understood and that she would do some more searching and asking questions. So here I sit knowing that most certainly this may be my family that I found in just a couple of hours of Facebooking. Is this really possible? So to Mark Zuckerberg, I say THANK YOU for creating this wonderful social network and for probably helping me find my birth mother and her family. If this is my family, I have two half-sisters and two half-brothers. WOW! 

So what next? I have told the lady I spoke with today that there is DNA testing to confirm, etc. She said that her mother is willing to do this and this is something that my husband wanted me to do earlier this year. I did not. I guess everything happens for a reason and that my life could significantly change in coming months. I never thought I would see this day. I hope to remember it for the rest of my life!

So to everyone out there who has wondered about there birth mother or family,  I say never give up and always believe that dreams can come true.

Love to you all and will update more as things transpire. I hope to meet my birth mother in person if this is indeed the right person.