Thursday, July 7, 2011

Facebook Over a Year Ago

Many of you fellow BLM's have posted about Facebook and your experiences. I just had one that has brought tears to my eyes. You see I've found since being on FB I've reconnected with many family members and friends through the years and being able to find them on the site has been nice. But as of today I have been reminded of how a year ago I was so happy and excited for the arrival of our Leia. I have a cousin that I was in her wedding when she was married many years ago. I was her flower girl and about four years old. I've not seen this cousin probably in over five years, maybe more. I found her daughter on FB last year and sent her a note asking about her mother and how to get a hold of her. That was on June 25 of LAST year. I had sent her a message through chat and told her I really wanted to talk with her mother. I had some "important news". Well the daughter never got back to me so recently I sent another message and this one went to my cousins niece. So I guess the niece talked to her cousin who then finally sent me a message back. The problem is the message was from June 25 of LAST year. I seemed so happy and optimistic in that quick note to my cousin. I am glad I finally have my cousins contact information and I really do want to call her but it all just seems so unfair. I don't have the happy news now that I'd like to share.

For the most part as of late I have been staying off the FB. It really is more due to time issues than anything else. But like most others have said on their blogs it is "happyland". This time of year you see families and their loved ones going on vacations. Their are many pictures of babies that have just arrived. If you are in my scenario I also have friends with grandchildren already. They of course started their families right out of high school. There is nothing wrong with this it's just the life they chose. So I guess my point to this whole FB post is that while it is in general a great tool and a way to reconnect it is also a reminder of what you are missing out on. I know I've had other experiences that maybe others with families have not. I've had my choice of moving and living in several states. I've traveled and had many fun experiences. I've had MY time but now I just want a child that gives my husband and I something more to look forward to for the future. To experience the world through a child's eyes seems to be so amazing. I hope one day we have that but for now I'll keep my account on FB and log in when I can but for the most part just try to live each day looking forward and thinking positive.

Thinking of and missing you Leia. You would be almost six months old now. I can only imagine what you would be experiencing and the joy you'd be bringing to us in our lives. We love you and love you forever sweet precious baby girl Leia Grace.

1 comment:

  1. One of the reasons I cannot look at FB anymore is because everyone I know has a baby. Almost. Not just the girls but also the guys.

    I too had that baby. But he's not here now. So all this guys on Facebook have one thing I don't have. Maybe I shouldnt compare but I really cannot help it.

    Staying away from FB has helped me in a sense that I force myself to be ignorant of all these happy people. I don't belong in their world and they don't miss me for sure. And I don't care. After losing my sweet son, I cannot care less about these things.

    Thinking you you and you sweet daughter.