Sunday, March 25, 2012

32 Weeks and NST

Today marks 32 weeks into our pregnancy and Friday was our first NST (non-stress test) that I will have every week till the labor or our baby arrives. Non-stress cannot begin to explain the anxiety I had going into the test. Unfortunately, my husband couldn’t be at this appointment so I had my niece who is just five years younger than me and more like my sister go in to the appointment with me. She really enjoyed going and since she has formerly worked in pediatric nursing she understands my anxiety and what we have been through. The test did go well and they put the monitor on my belly for 20 minutes. They monitor the heart and uterine contractions. There is a print out generating as they are doing this that they review at the end. They also took this “buzzer” and would put it on my belly and said they were looking for the baby to kick when they did this (which he/she did!). The lady doing the test asked me if this was my first and I just told her it was my second without getting into any details. I didn’t really want to bring it up and while I don’t think it is fair to Leia, I also didn’t want to get to a place that I was upset or crying. I don’t like that I did this but it is how I could get through the test. I thought to myself, “She really needs to look at my chart before she asks a question like that”. I mean seriously, don’t people who work in healthcare take a few minutes to look at a patients chart before asking certain questions? She is doing a non-stress test, she must have other BLM’s or situations like mine that are similar. Why else would I be going through this type of test? I am really starting to like the idea another BLM mentioned in a comment about how she gave cards to all of her doctor visits and asked they read them before the doctor sees her. I just may make up some of these cards and start using them.  So anyways, the test ended and we went back out to the waiting area and just a few minutes later she came out to say all of my testing done looked good and that I needed to schedule my next appointment in a week. I know I won’t be as anxious at the next one as I know what to expect now and what they do. I just want to do everything possible to track how our baby is doing these last 8 weeks. We also have another growth ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow and I can’t wait to see what the results/measurements are at this point.

Another BLM was mentioning how a second pregnancy after a loss can bring up PTSD. I have to say that I really relate to this comment and have really felt this in recent weeks. I mean being pregnant and experiencing this life growing inside of you. There is a connection that you make to your baby and I love that, but I am also anxious about bringing home a LIVING baby. Nothing you do or say or how much you talk about it, the bottom line is that you SO want everything to go well and you are constantly having thoughts of what if’s and thinking of something going wrong again. I WANT to control this but in the end I have to put it in the hands of my medical providers and hope that all goes well and that if something is wrong that they will catch it or be able to do something proactive for my baby.

On another note, I wanted to share a picture of Leia’s garden that is now showing some lovely tulips that have appeared and sprouted in recent days. I was hoping to get out to her garden this weekend and do some weeding and sprucing it up but the weather is not cooperating. Tis is a quick picture I got last night at the end of the day. I love the colors and can’t wait to keep adding to the garden and make it as pretty as possible.

So I am thinking of all mommy's out there in blog world. Whether you are on the path to another baby, trying to conceive or dealing with a recent loss. I get what all of you are posting and saying and so thankful to have this community that I have found in the past year. I read daily posts and comments that help me get through a day or another week. My love and thoughts to all of you.

8 comments:

  1. Hugs to you, Shell. I had 2 different doctors not know about my loss after my initial doctor appointment. The first doctor didn't even put it in my chart. I was so angry. It wasn't a pregnancy loss, as you know, but he died as an infant, and I felt like it needed/needs to be noted. Because this 3rd pregnancy, a pregnancy after a loss, is unlike a "normal" 3rd pregnancy.

    Good luck at the rest of your appointments. Thinking of you.

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    1. Kelly, you are right, nothing is normal about a pregnancy after a loss. Thanks for your kind words and I think of you often.

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  2. I could not agree more regarding how the health care professionals should be aware why it is you're in there... They should know about Leia so they can adjust their excitement/questions accordingly.

    I'm at the point where I can talk about Jack a little bit before I tear up, but more so because I have prepped myself to get to this point. I do somethings think they may think I'm a psycho since I tend to be non-emotional when I mention he passed away... I don't do that because it's either all or nothing at all when it comes to him- I either lose my mind and cry or I an stoic. Not sure which is better.. bah.

    Glad baby did so well with the NSTs, I know this is all so traumatic and terrifying. Thinking of you. :)

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    1. LauraJane, I tend to beat myself up for not mentioning but I also don't want to get to that place. I'm debating how I will handle at next appointment and maybe bring it up to her, especially if I get the same person. I just want May to get here sooner rather than later. Thinking of you as well and have a good Sunday.

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  3. I'm sorry the nurse didn't read your chart, how insensitive. But I'm super happy that your stress test went well.

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    1. Thank you. I just read your recent post and see you have a set-date, that is super. I wish I could get my doctor to agree to a date. I may have to push this issue at my next appointment. My sister was just asking me last night about it and if I had a date. Hang in there and thinking of you and your frostina.

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  4. You would think being that you are there for a once a week stress test that it would be common sense for her to know something happened before. People wah.
    Good to know the test went well and that everything is being very closley monitered.xo

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  5. As far as nurses not always checking charts before they enter the room well I am still annoyed by the nurse that asked me why I want benadryl to help dry my milk up and when was the last time I breastfed. She felt pretty stupid I think when I had to tell her its because my baby died. I think anything related to your baby dying should be in like bright big letters or like you said maybe having a card put in your chart would be a good idea so it can't be missed.

    Glad Leis's garden is blooming, I can't wait to work on mine.

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