Wednesday, August 17, 2011


I've had a rough day. And to top it off we leave tomorrow night for our week long trip back home to our respective hometowns and to see our families. So not looking forward to any of it.

In my usually organizing and OCD manners I've been attempting to get things all set both at home and work. This just did not work today. I had three different clients that felt the need to either take their anger out on me or just vent. My old self would have taken to heart these matters and really cared. Not today. I just let them go. I thought to myself as the one ended his conversation abruptly, "I really don't care and I hope you feel better now". I just wonder sometimes why us human beings can sometimes be so nasty to one another. This person didn't need to take this tone or talk to me this way. I then thought maybe they have other things going on and I'd let it go. I was able to do that. I just don't care anymore. I mean I do, but not the way my former self would have. I am going to leave tomorrow night and forget about all of it. The work will be there when I get back as will the house and everything that needs to be done. I've got to let it go and relax a little.

My other apprehension about going home is seeing everyone that I have not seen since everything happened with Leia. What will they say? What won't they say? How will it be? So many things I am contemplating. My hubs and I were talking tonight about how we both were not looking forward to this trip. I told him I had such a different idea of how our trip would have been if Leia were here. It would have been the first time she would have met most of her family on my side. I had even gone so far as having a friend set to watch her during the wedding reception we are attending this weekend. Who knew it would be so different? We will go but I am just not sure how it will all be.

I am also upset as I just read another fellow BLM blog and she is not expecting after going through an IVF and donor procedure. I am so sorry that this did not work for her and feeling so down. I was so hoping she would have success. Why is it that some of us struggle so much for the one thing that seems so unattainable? I am thinking of Finding My New Normal and sending her good vibes.

Thinking of my Leia as we venture to our hometowns. Wishing she was here with us to see and meet all our families. You may be gone sweet baby girl but you are in my heart and I take you with me everywhere I go. The few pictures I have of you will be with me and those that want to see them will get to see them. I love you baby girl.


  1. Worrying about what people will say and what they won't say is so hard and draining. I will be thinking about you and hoping it goes better than expected. Totally sucks that this isn't the trip it SHOULD be with Leia.

  2. Awww, thanks so much!!! I appreciate your thoughts and good vibes!

  3. I hope the trip goes smoothly. Sometimes the worrying beforehand is worse than the actual event. (and unfortunately sometimes the actual event is worse)

  4. Ugh, I am dreading that trip for you. I hope everyone is kind and wants to hear about and see pics of your sweet girl. Will keep you in my thoughts.

  5. Dreading it for you too. :(

    I hope people are respectful. I wish your baby girl was there with you too.

  6. I have to say, am dreading this trip too. I don't have the courage with me to take such a trip. But I know you mentioned about this wedding before here and how you had to go....

    I wish it goes well. Much better than we can hope. Will be thinking of you and will look forward to hear from you soon.

  7. Thinking about you on your trip home.
    I just went to a wedding and it definitely brought up a lot of thought of what should have been.
    Wishing Leia could be with you too...