This past Friday was 16 months since we met our Leia and she left us. I can't believe it has been that long. It is a different season and time of year but it all comes back. How we miss her so much and wish she were here with us each day. It just doesn't seem fair sometimes. We visited our local library to look at the paver that we made a donation to in her honor. They had just let us know that it had been completed recently. It turned out really nice and is located directly in front of the library in our town. I wish I had brought something to clean the stone off and get the sand/dust out of her name. I will be sure to do that the next time I visit or go to the library. We miss and love you sweet baby girl and not a day goes by that we don't think of you and how we wish you were here.
I am struggling, I have to admit. I am 39 weeks today and while our appointment this past Friday went well, I must admit it is so HARD to be at this point in my pregnancy. We are beyond the point of when we lost Leia so I am afraid, scared, and terrified of something happening again. I try to keep these thoughts at bay and keep busy. I do breakdown most days, have a good cry and let it all out. I don't want to be crying all the time and sad but it is all there. The memories, the outcome and wondering when the other shoe is going to drop. I so hope that things continue as they have. And thankfully our doctor is back tomorrow from a week off. I know if anything had happened this past week with him away I would have been in good hands with other doctors/staff but I am glad that we have made it to a new week with him back. We wait. My hubs is constantly asking me if I am having anything similar to labor. We read books, read information on-line and just wait. I am doing kick counts two to three times a day. I am also having vivid dreams that I wake up thinking about. I dream that our LO has arrived. I dream I am going into labor. I dream that I hear a baby making some noise. I wake up and check but nothing. So just wondering about others out there who have gone through a second pregnancy and made it through. How did you do it? Going into labor and going back to the same hospital? I'd appreciate any tips or ideas on what helped you get through this very emotional time.