Remembering Leia

Valentine's Day

Well a quickie post here. My Mom had major surgery this past Friday. They went in to remove her gall bladder and then found a hole in her colon, an absess, a mass and staples in her gall bladder. The surgeon came out of the surgery to ask my family if they could remove more than expected. So in the end they did get the gall bladder out, part of her colon and the mass (which the surgeon says is likely cancerous). So now we wait for the biopsy results and where we are headed next. My Mom is still in recovery at the hospital and I am going up this Wednesday and will stay for a five days. I can't wait to see my Mom and other family. I so need to see them and talk with her medical team.

So in the meantime I am keeping myself busy by packing, cleaning house, trying to do homework for class and not thinking about my Mom. We had a Valentine's Dinner tonight. I had big plans to do this Thursday but since I will be gone, I wanted to do this today. Hubs and I had dinner and exchanged small gifts. I also have another gift from LB that I will tell my husband about on Thursday over the phone. He got Daddy a Le Creuset orange mug that he has been eyeing for some time at the home good stores. My hubs got me the latest Baked cookbook that has been out for a few months. Can't wait to try a new recipe. I hope everyone has a good week and Happy Valentine's Day!

XOXO
Shell

Butterfly

Whenever I see butterflies they remind me of our Leia.

Freaking Out

I knew I should not have googled the removal of gall bladders, etc. I just found that cancer is hard to detect in that organ and usually only found when surgery is performed. I am waiting now for a call from my sister to give me date my Mom will have her gall bladder removed. Did I mention I hate waiting? I should be doing my homework for class but here I sit googling and thinking. Ugh. So much for paying it forward today...somehow it is coming back to haunt me! 

I hate waiting. Thinking of my Momma and my Leia. XOXO, Shell

Ice/Snow!

Well here in NC today we got a wintry mix of snow and then ice. It is very cold and many accidents today. Glad that my hubs is home now and safe and sound. Didn't go anywhere today, just stayed inside, relaxed, did a few things around the house, napped and played with LB. Love these kind of days!

Day 24

Today was a series of giving or paying it forward. I dropped off baby clothes to a neighbor who is expecting twins (girl/boy), left a birthday gift for a friend who is turning 40 tomorrow and then I bought lunch for a girlfriend. We dined at a local restaurant that I had not been to yet even though it has been open for several months now. She gave me a bunch of her baby stuff and I even returned a chicco baby carrier to her since she had loaned it to me and LB has outgrown it now. It was nice to stay local and see a friend and catch up. It was windy and cold so I was glad to get LB back home and into our warm house. I just hope he doesn't get sick and manages to get by without getting this flu stuff that is going around. They are calling for a "wintry mix" of snow for tomorrow and cold temperatures. I think tomorrow will be a "stay home" day. Stay warm everyone and hopefully healthy!

XO

Shell

Day 23

So last night I met a woman who wanted to buy a comforter set that I had for sale. She told me she was just starting out and needed anything that would help with a household. In looking at her Facebook page it appeared she was in her mid-20's and maybe had several children. When I met her I asked her if she had any kids and she told me her Dad's kids were living with her. I didn't ask for more details but in short, I decided to give her anything that we didn't need or that I had not had luck in selling. So I gave her a holder for tableware, some of my clothes, baking dishes, an extra set of sheets, purses, holiday decorations, pretty much anything I was looking to get rid of and out of our house. She was very grateful and said she would take it all. I told her if she couldn't use it to pass it on or donate it. It felt good to pay it forward and to help someone who truly needed it and was appreciative. When you give back  ~ you feel good. So think about what you can do to help someone in need. It is a single neighbor who has no family? A family member in need? A friend that just needs a hello? Give back, pay it forward, bring a smile. Giving back is the BEST feeling in the world!

XOXO

Shell

January Clean-Up

Those close to me know that I am a neat freak. I haven't always been this way but I have become more and more like this. I am not sure why. Was it because I grew up in a messy house? Do I have OCD? Do I like to hoard? I tend to think I like to be the opposite of what I have experienced. I didn't have much growing up but I did have a loving family, food on our table and my parents instilled in me the importance of education. I got that. I got the husband and now the baby. My life should be great, right? Wrong. I think I like doing all the organizing things because it is my one way of having control. I have 15 years experience of working in corporate america. Organizing meetings, enrolling employees in benefits, interviewing (that part I DON'T miss), phone calls, busy, busy, busy. Most of my days in the HR world were busy and hectic. Yeah there were some days that were dull but for the most part, I never knew what my day would bring. An employee issue? A weird interview, a boss looking for a project, etc., etc. I thrived on it and while I don't miss the structure and early mornings I do miss the people, the community, the connection you make working with others. So in the meantime I will continue to organize, clean, sell on-line at home and raise my little boy the best way I know how. After all, I have turned out okay and I didn't have any pre-school but I did have lots of love and caring parents.

Peter Walsh, famed organizer well known from Oprah and having his own show that I am not sure is still on but he will be on Rachel Ray tomorrow (Wednesday). He has been having a challenge on Facebook of doing one thing each day for ten minutes. The challenge today was your medicine cabinet or as in my case the drawer. Here are the results. I think I did pretty good! 

XOXO

Shell

My Life

Hi everyone. Almost through this month but something ironic happened. I called my sister this past weekend (Sat) and told her I wanted to end our feud or whatever was keeping us from talking. She agreed and we had a conversation. Then, the very next day she took my Mother to the ER because her kidney infection was not improving. They found my Mother has a porcelain gallbladder meaning that she must have surgery to remove it and she also has a stress fracture in her back which is quite common with older women and especially if they have osteoporosis which she does have. So I am glad they found this but also worried about my Mother and how she will handle the surgery and recovering. She is 80 years old and has also had arthritis for 60 of those years. It is always something. I am hoping to get up north in the next couple of months to see my family.

So to end this post, I caved in, I conceded and made amends. That is my giving back. I hope it works this time. 

XOXO, Shell

Days 18, 19 & 20

Getting behind here but have done some giving back. On the 18th I gave $10.00 to a local student for his school that was having a fundraiser. On the 19th I mailed out five packages of goodies to people that I know. I wonder who is getting one? And today I just made a donation to the National Down Syndrome Society for $100.00 in honor of our Leia Grace. We make this donation to the NDSS every year in her honor.

I seem to be suffering from some sickness. I got my flu shot about 3 weeks ago so hoping I don't get this nasty stuff that has been going around. Going to bed early tonight.

Have a good week all and will write more tomorrow.

XOXO

Day 17

Came home to a nice card in the mail from lady that helped us on the plane last year. I sent her chocolates and she sent me a card back. Gratitude, paying it forward and being nice to the human-being race. Common sense, if we would all do this I think our world would be a better and nicer place to live. Cheers everyone and Happy Friday! 

Day 16

Joan and Tammy came to see LB yesterday. Love, love, love! We sent them on there way with Cappacinno brownie! <3

Day 15

Today I rolled my neighbor's recycling bin to her curb. She had just pulled in her driveway and I was planning to get both of her garbage bins but she insisted that she help. She is a lovely woman and always pleasant. We chatted for a bit and went our ways. A busy morning ahead for both I presume as she watches her grandchildren most days. Happy Tuesday!

Day 14/Giveaway!

Well our weekend away to the beach was wonderful. It felt good to hear the ocean and have my feet in the sand. The weekend temps were in the low 70's so it was a great weekend to get away and clear our minds. We wrote Leia and Landon's names in the sand but for some reason the picture I thought I took did not show up on my phone. So will try again the next time we are at a beach. I guess it gives us reason to go back, right? I was happy most of time, we did some sight seeing, shopping and enjoyed a lovely dinner out at a little Bistro in Beaufort. Many thanks to the owner and staff as they kindly took us to a table even though most weekends reservations are required at their restaurant. They were all so friendly and enjoyed talking/playing with LB. The only time I cried was when my hubs played a Coldplay song on our way home....Fix You. Yes, it gets me every time. Miss our baby girl so much but the only thing I can do is go on and enjoy LB and the fact that he is here with us.

So to play catch up, I am doing a free giveaway today to one person who comments. I will randomly pick a winner by putting their names in a hat and have LB pull the name. What do you get? It is a random surprise but it does center around the next major holiday coming up...Valentine's Day...so if you don't want more V-Day stuff you may not want to comment!

I've got Peter Walsh's challenges to catch up on (four days - yikes), various house duties to do, get some of LB's clothes sorted and prepare for a class that I start taking tonight for 3 hours. I am looking forward to getting out of the house and appreciate my hubs is helping me to take this class.

Happy Monday and please comment for you chance to win a package of goodies sent to your home from yours truly.

XOXO, Shell

Two Years

Today at 8:45pm marks two years that I gave birth to our sleeping baby girl, Leia Grace. I would like to thank Cymbalta, my thearapist, my support group, cookies from Moravian Bakers, my hubs, my close friends on and/or off FB for getting me through today. I got several texts and messages today and you know who you are and what you have done. Thank you so much and I will get through today. I've posted below a picture of the flowers I got to put on Leia's memorial garden that is in our back yard. Again, for the second year in a row we have a rainy and dark day. So I will wait till the sun is out again before putting anything out. Love and miss you sweet beautiful baby girl. Love, Mommy, Daddy & Landon

Day 10

Today is Day 10 of my project of paying forward or giving back. I haven't done too much today to keep my project going. This is the two-year mark of me going into the hospital (the only appointment my hubs had ever missed) and me learning that Leia had no heartbeat. I had to call and tell him over the phone and then wait for him to get across campus to the building I was in. Also on that day our area was experiencing an ice storm. Today it was in the 60's. Why couldn't it have been that way two years ago? I've also been thinking about her not being here and what she is missing. I got the flowers I want to put on her garden tomorrow morning. I didn't put them out tonight because they are projecting rain. Sometimes I wish it was all a dream but I know it is not and that my life is going on and moving forward. I must remember Leia but also live my life as happy as I know how.

Also, this morning I had a pleasant surprise on my front porch. Someone had left a bouquet of flowers. It made me cry and I now have them sitting in a vase in our kitchen. A random act like that means so much to the person when you do that. I really did appreciate whoever did it, but they chose to remain anonymous and I respect that.

Tomorrow is going to be a hard day but I do have therapy first thing in the morning and hoping that gets my day off to a good start. I am not sure what I'll be feeling tomorrow. Two years....seems so long ago but in other ways like it just happened. Missing you Leia Grace and wishing you were here with your little brother Landon Keith. Love you...

Day 9

Quick post tonight. I gave my hair stylist two books today on Weight Watchers that she had wanted. LB and I took a nice one hour walk outdoors where it was in the high 60's. I so enjoyed getting out and I think he enjoyed it as well. The treats I gave out last night were well received and liked. I am glad I went to group. It was a good session and glad to have gone. I posted below the treats that were given out. Off to figure out some hospital bills and prepare for a meeting in the morning.

Day 8

Tonight is group meeting that other women and I attend bi-monthly to talk about our PPD and what we have going on and how we are feeling. Sometimes we do yoga. I guess it was done at last meeting that I had to miss due to my hubs having a work thingie.

So last month the group did a little holiday party and since I missed I am taking individual treats for tonight. I will give them out and if someone doesn't want one I won't be offended. I am taking some choxie goodies and I know that it is January and everyone is trying to be good and lose weight, etc. I'll post a picture tomorrow of my little treats.

What else is going on? I have hung some Valentine's Decorations and trying to get ready for end of week when we head out of town for a few days. It has been a good day. I got 10 hours of sleep last night so dragging a bit. It is weird how when I get so much sleep that I am even more tired. I also have very weird dreams when I take my meds to help me sleep. Last night's dream entailed my friend getting married and we were sampling desserts and arguing about where we would park to go into the establishment. When I awoke it took me several minutes to figure out where I was and what day it was.

Happy Tuesday!

Sea Salt Chocolate Chip "Big" Cookie

When I am stressed or upset I emotional eat. I know this and with Leia's 2-year anniversary approaching quickly, I am baking like crazy. Below is a new recipe that I tweeked in a new dish from a store that I have found recently that I love, Sur la Table.

Sea Salt Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 1/4 cup butter

3/4 cup brown sugar

3/4 cup white sugar

1 egg

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 1/4 cup flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon sea salt

1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350ºF and grease a baking sheet. In a large mixing bowl, cream the butter and sugars. Add in the vanilla and eggs. Mix until smooth. Add the flour, baking soda, and sea salt. Fold in the chocolate chips. Roll dough into balls and drop on your greased baking sheet. Bake for 15-20 minutes or until golden brown. I used a pie dish and baked for 30 minutes. Cool slightly before moving to a wire rack. 

Picture That I Love